I have spent most of my life trying to understand the world without and the world within. Sometimes understanding is beyond me and in this poem I explore the one thing I think I really do understand.
The Probability of God’s Inflexion
The probability of god’s inflexion upon all life
Is as unknowable as fate itself.
The tides of life and death sway to their own strange rhythm.
Each creature it’s own vessel of meaning
Each creature it’s own light of being.
And in my alien mind :
I imagine that an ant watches the black stretch enigma of a human road
With the same respect and acceptance as it watches the stars –
The mystery of isness as daunting as the mystery of death.
And in my alien mind :
I watch a bloody clash of ants and wonder how they can dump their dead
As if the act of death has taken away all honour and dignity –
Leaving the dead as meaningless as the mystery of empire.
But one creature among billions
Is nothing in the great sea of life.
Yet I – a simple human being think meaning is mine alone,
This folly of belonging to a species in which I cannot even understand my self.
Of all that is
I understand nothing.
Of all that really matters
I can find only love.
And in that love I find a god that is –
Is only is.
In one hand a thing that reaches out
In the other a thing that turns away
But in all things love.
© R.J. Hudson 2007.
I think this is self explanatory. It refelects my own experience of love.
The Many Faces of Love
1. Puppy Love
Her voice trails at the end of the phone
Angel of perfection
Cannot live without her.
2. Tension of Opposites
He loves her body with haste and fury
They scream in pleasure and pain
Man rages with and without her.
One plus one becomes three
Great joy in small discoveries
Child becomes the glue of their meaning.
4. Bad Habits (The Critic in Us)
Preferences slowly rise to the fore
She has what he does not
The eye sees only what it wants to see.
5. True Love
He looks past the small irritations
She sees him through the eye of her heart
They find something greater than each of them.
6. The Gaps She Weaves
He is complete without her
But together there is something else
One day the gaps will speak more loudly than words.
7. Till Death
They are blind together but together they see
Always there for each other
Death will remind them of the gift of their love.
© R.J. Hudson 2006.
I wrote this poem in 1989, after falling in love for the first time. During time I wore all black, which reflected how I felt inside. 1989-1994 were the darkest years if my life. A time in which the discovery of love parallelled my discovery of pain, anger and rage. This poem represents an early effort to express pain and joy and spiritual seeking in one poem. Although it’s a pretty lame piece of writing, it marks a distinct period in my life. I spent several years struggling to express myself and in 1989-1990, I finally became comfortable with poetry as a medium.
Patch the Wounds (Possess the Huntress)
Farewell to the sinking burden,
I shall revel in your love.
Take me under,
Embrace my dreams,
Exchange suffering when our souls collide.
Don’t call me don’t call me,
Leave me to hide.
Shed that which seems normal and cast aside.
Tear the ribbon of life,
Cleanse the fire of pride.
I lurch at you
Dancing upon heart warmed coals.
Cloak and dagger conceals this warrior’s holes.
Shadowing eyes patch the wounds.
A thousand years linger onwards,
Seeking centre searching self,
Wandering in slumber.
I whisper to the secret within.
Oh dare ye possess the huntress ?
© R.J. Hudson 1989.