This poem slid from my consciousness after my girlfriend had her first misscariage (at an early stage). I felt a great deal of guilt about getting my girlfriend pregnant and all her subsequent miscariages (which were usually the result of stress or a morning after pill – which technically might not have made all of them miscarriages). As it was I was way too young to have become a father. I was still dealing with my own shit and yet to mature. This poem represents my own imagining of forced miscarriage and the guilt that followed.
Sea of Comfort
A smooth awakening is beyond your call.
No one warns of imminent removal.
Bound within my abdominal trench,
Your volcanic eruption blends the aching thoughts of termination.
The wrenching hypnotic obsession whispers dark words,
Drifting heartlessly into the shallowest canal
And when retrieved through the grey of the callous psychopath,
Sounds spell sadness and pain.
Caressing inflictions redeem the clear sea of comfort.
Purist sacrifice bears dearly on my soul –
Deep frowns entrenched in remorse.
Lasting chains gather bloody witness,
To the burial of innocence.
© R.J. Hudson 1989.